Mean Girls

Do you ever feel like you never left high school? Do you know why you feel that way?

It is because the politics are all still the same. Girls are mean, and what’s worse

about it is that they grew up to be mean women. The problem is that we are all so full

of insecurities we look around us for permission to be confident and secure. We need

to see another woman we think is less attractive to feel beautiful. There was a rise

of women who decided to embrace their curves; this is a good thing right? Wrong!,

and I will tell you why. Instead of the wonderfully voluptuous campaigning for their

own individual beauty they had to insult the thin women to do it. Have you ever heard

someone say, “Real women eat” or “Real women have curves”? Why is it that we

constantly have the need to tear down another individual just to build ourselves up?

Let’s not stop there; we also still have the battle of skin. There’s the dark skin

verses the light skin. At first the trend was all about being light and having the

pale powdered complexion so the women that were darker were insulted and were

made to feel insecure. Now the trend is on the side of the women with darker

complexions. Everyone is tanning and trying to bring as much color to their skin as

possible. There’s the battle again of saying one way is more beautiful than the other, the

women of darker complexion now has the advantage of making the fairer skinned feel


How about this, I’m sure we have all heard this before. There’s the everlasting matter

of hair color. “Blondes have more fun.” Of course they had to say this! There had to

be a defense from the brunettes telling them that they were stupid. So the war here

is that women with dark hair are boring and the women with light hair are absentminded. Wow!

I could go on and on about the things that we say and do to one another to tear down

our fellow sisters. But where does the real problem lie? Who is to blame for the hurt

and insecurities that we all have felt from time to time? The problem is that we are

waiting on the trends to change. We are waiting for the media to tell us that it’s our turn

to be beautiful rather than taking control of our individuality.

Facts are the media doesn’t care about the way you look! They only care about your

money. You think you need to lose or gain 5 lbs because someone invented a product

that they want you to buy, so they told you that you aren’t good enough because

they want you to pay to be something that you are not. There is no money in self

acceptance, and true self confidence. There is money in someone telling you that your

butt is flat, your lips are thin, your thighs are jiggly, and your skin is pale. If they can

change the trend to get your money that’s exactly what the manufacturers and retailers

are going to do. You are making companies rich by not accepting your beauty.

How can we grow beyond this point? How do we deprogram ourselves to stop

hurting, and stop hurting others? It starts by taking control of our standards for what

being beautiful truly is. Stop asking the media for permission to feel good about

yourself. Instead of looking for what makes the next woman ugly so you can feel great,

look for the depth in your fellow sisters that you can pull from to be a better person.

This is beauty:

1. She has an infectious laugh that brings joy to a room

2. She volunteers her time to making a difference in the world

3. She is really dedicated to her family and will do anything to ensure their


4. She is very intelligent and teaches everyone around her

5. She smiles in the face of adversity and encourages others to do the same

6. Everyone thinks she is their best friend

7. She cries when she sees others suffer

8. She donates her money to charity

9. She’s gives great advice and pushes others to succeed

We have to shed the high school mentality of beauty and now see with new eyes to

break the chains of pain and insecurity. We need more depth and we need to know

what true beauty is so we aren’t waiting for money hungry corporations to tell us when

and what being beautiful is. You are beautiful, God made you made beautiful and

everyone has something that makes them amazing. Embrace yourself and your own

uniqueness and teach others to do the same.

Be happy, be healthy, and make a difference.