Do you ever feel like you never left high school? Do you know why you feel that way?
It is because the politics are all still the same. Girls are mean, and what’s worse
about it is that they grew up to be mean women. The problem is that we are all so full
of insecurities we look around us for permission to be confident and secure. We need
to see another woman we think is less attractive to feel beautiful. There was a rise
of women who decided to embrace their curves; this is a good thing right? Wrong!,
and I will tell you why. Instead of the wonderfully voluptuous campaigning for their
own individual beauty they had to insult the thin women to do it. Have you ever heard
someone say, “Real women eat” or “Real women have curves”? Why is it that we
constantly have the need to tear down another individual just to build ourselves up?
Let’s not stop there; we also still have the battle of skin. There’s the dark skin
verses the light skin. At first the trend was all about being light and having the
pale powdered complexion so the women that were darker were insulted and were
made to feel insecure. Now the trend is on the side of the women with darker
complexions. Everyone is tanning and trying to bring as much color to their skin as
possible. There’s the battle again of saying one way is more beautiful than the other, the
women of darker complexion now has the advantage of making the fairer skinned feel
How about this, I’m sure we have all heard this before. There’s the everlasting matter
of hair color. “Blondes have more fun.” Of course they had to say this! There had to
be a defense from the brunettes telling them that they were stupid. So the war here
is that women with dark hair are boring and the women with light hair are absentminded. Wow!
I could go on and on about the things that we say and do to one another to tear down
our fellow sisters. But where does the real problem lie? Who is to blame for the hurt
and insecurities that we all have felt from time to time? The problem is that we are
waiting on the trends to change. We are waiting for the media to tell us that it’s our turn
to be beautiful rather than taking control of our individuality.
Facts are the media doesn’t care about the way you look! They only care about your
money. You think you need to lose or gain 5 lbs because someone invented a product
that they want you to buy, so they told you that you aren’t good enough because
they want you to pay to be something that you are not. There is no money in self
acceptance, and true self confidence. There is money in someone telling you that your
butt is flat, your lips are thin, your thighs are jiggly, and your skin is pale. If they can
change the trend to get your money that’s exactly what the manufacturers and retailers
are going to do. You are making companies rich by not accepting your beauty.
How can we grow beyond this point? How do we deprogram ourselves to stop
hurting, and stop hurting others? It starts by taking control of our standards for what
being beautiful truly is. Stop asking the media for permission to feel good about
yourself. Instead of looking for what makes the next woman ugly so you can feel great,
look for the depth in your fellow sisters that you can pull from to be a better person.
This is beauty:
1. She has an infectious laugh that brings joy to a room
2. She volunteers her time to making a difference in the world
3. She is really dedicated to her family and will do anything to ensure their
4. She is very intelligent and teaches everyone around her
5. She smiles in the face of adversity and encourages others to do the same
6. Everyone thinks she is their best friend
7. She cries when she sees others suffer
8. She donates her money to charity
9. She’s gives great advice and pushes others to succeed
We have to shed the high school mentality of beauty and now see with new eyes to
break the chains of pain and insecurity. We need more depth and we need to know
what true beauty is so we aren’t waiting for money hungry corporations to tell us when
and what being beautiful is. You are beautiful, God made you made beautiful and
everyone has something that makes them amazing. Embrace yourself and your own
uniqueness and teach others to do the same.
Be happy, be healthy, and make a difference.